home is where MY heart is.

a BIG change over here!

as of a few weeks ago i am an official stay at home mamma!

HAPPY DANCE!!!

this has been something that we have been talking and thinking about for awhile.

it has always been our plan to eventually come to this but i didn't think it would be quite this soon.

we had planned on when we had our second baby that might be the best time.

i had a pretty sweet setup with work.

i was working full time - but part time from the office and part time from home.

this was an agreement that had a time limit.

but deep down i was hoping it didn't have an end.

we came to the conclusion if it did ever come to a stopping point i would go part time.

well when the time came neither of those things were an option due to large volumes of work load.

so then the pressing question came.  what in the world am i going to do??


i know that nash would be just fine if i did have to have him in a daycare setting full time.
lots of parents and kids do it.
including my parents when i was younger.
and lots of people actually prefer it that way.
and we actually had someone that was great watching nash already.

but when  i found out my only option was to go back to full time  i felt so unsettled.
no matter how much i thought about it there was something in my heart that didn't feel right.
my family is my number one priority.
and nash is only going to be little for so long.
the thought of nash being with a sitter for that many hours in a week compared
 to how many hours i would have with him was just simply crazy to me.
so in the end there was only one answer.
quit.

that was nerve racking.
frightening.
exciting.
scary.
so many emotions mixed together.

i worked hard for my degree.
i have worked hard in my career since i graduated
 and i have poured a lot of myself into creating a career.
also giving up the extra income and benefits that we were
 used to would make things tighter.
could we make it work. yes.
would it be a little uncomfortable. yes.

in the end no income, benefits, or added career experience
 could be more important then this time with nash.
to be his mom and to be able to spend all the time in the world with him.
this is REALLY what my heart wanted.
we want to be the ones to raise him and to love on him.
to pour into his little self as he grows as much as possible.

i am honestly ecstatic that we are making it work.
i am so thankful for robert and how he is so willing and wanting to provide for us.
he knew my true desire was to stay home and he was 100% on board.
i have a lot to be thankful for.

those lingering work deadlines are not hanging above my head any longer.
now my big decision during the day is what i am going to accomplish during his nap time.
i'll take it. :)

and for all of you that work full time and have a handful of kids -
i tip my hat to you.  it's hard.
i am glad we didn't have to find out what a mess i would be
 if i had to spend that much time away from nash.
and i am sure robert appreciates not having to witness those tears!